SWIMMING WITH KYLE,KEISHA AND CHARLES

It was a sad day for Angela yesterday.It was because two of her friends, Keisha and Kyle were leaving for Dubai together with their mom. Home from school, Angela asked permission if she could play with Kyle and Keisha until they left. Because they were leaving, I allowed Angela to go. It was a full hour before Angela went home.  Usually, Angela would run to the door when she returns, but this time, she was just...walking...slowly. As she was walking to the house, I was already looking at her eyes and true enough, before the door closed behind her, her eyes were already welling up with tears. I felt my tears coming up too. I asked her if her friends left already. When she answered yes, tears came streaming down her face and then she embraced me. I was crying, too but I didn't want her to see that. I hugged her tightly because I felt that was the only way I could comfort her. I told her not to cry anymore because what was happening was okay. Friends would come and go but hopefully, the friendship remains. But of course, Angela didn't stop crying...instead, she cried herself to sleep.

Your true color is Green!

 

You're green, the color of growth and vigor. Good-hearted and giving, you have a knack for finding and bringing out the best in people. Green is the most down-to-earth color in the spectrum — reliable and trustworthy. People know they can count on you to be around in times of need, since your concern for people is genuine and sincere. You take pride in being a good friend. For you, success is measured in terms of personal achievement and growth, not by status or position. Rare as emeralds, greens are wonderful, natural people. It truly is your color!

This was taken on New Year's Eve 2006.

Wala lang, gusto ko lang ilagay ang picture ni Angela dito.

This was shot using a N6610i (not mine, though)...

Parang di maganda 'nung resolution...inedit-edit ko pa yung picture, lumiwanag lang.

Naputulan na ba kayo ng kuryente? Kami, hindi pa...pero muntik na. Anyway, hindi yan ang kwento. Yung magpuputol kasi ng kuryente pumunta kasi sa amin para putulan na kami ng kuryente kasi hindi raw kami nagbayad pa (nakakahiya ano?). Ang problema, ako lang mag-isa sa bahay tapos si Dong nakitawag sa labas. Habang wala pa siya, nag-hintay  yung nagpuputol na 'yon (na di naman pala taga-meralco kundi subcontractor lang pero napakayabang) sa labas ng bahay. Anyway, habang kausap ko siya sinabihan ako ng "Mrs, meron ba kayo diyan kahit pa-meryenda lang?". Ako naman, siyempre gusto kong magpalakas...pasok ako sa loob, pag-labas ko binigay ko na yung pang-meryenda niya...dalawang...balot ng biscuit na baon dapat ni Angela. Saka ko lang na-gets yung sabi niyang "pang-meryenda" nung tinanggihan nya yung biscuit at sinabing sa labas na daw siya magmemeryenda...hehe. Malas lang niya, tanga talaga ako pagdating sa mga "padulas" na ganyan.

This was sent by a friend...gusto ko lang itong dagdagan ng aking thoughts dahil may mga bagay-bagay dito na parang mali...ito kaya ang month na ipinanganak ako...

JULY
Difficult to fathom and to be understood (d naman...)
Quiet unless excited or tensed (oo nga)
Has reputation (na ano?)
Easily consoled (korek!)
Honest (uhmm...tanong nyo sa mommy ko )
Concern about people's feelings (oo naman)
Friendly (depende sa mood)
Approachable (sobra...)

Very emotional (emphasis on "very")
Unpredictable and temperamental (di ko sure...minsan siguro)
Moody and easily hurt (ay...tanungin si papa dong)
Witty and sarky (anong sarky?)
Sentimental (ang magsabi ng "hindi",  di nagbabasa ng blog ko)
Neither forgives nor forgets (wrong)
Caring and loving ('eto...tanong nyo kay angela)
Strong sense of sympathy (uhmm...tanong natin sa mga namatayan...mali yata...)
Judge people through observations (sino'ng hindi ganito? sinungaling ang mag-sabi ng "ako"...pwede ba, bawal ang plastic!)
Loves to be alone (not really)
Always broods about the past and the old friends (not always...siguro once a day lang )

Likes to be quiet (pag mag-isa ako, siyempre...pero minsan napapakanta ako eh...)
Waits for friends ("I'll wait for you, even if it takes forever" ang drama ng lola)
Not aggressive unless provoked (Hindi pa rin eh)
Loves to be loved (siyempre!!!)
Easily hurt and takes long to recover (depende kung anong klaseng hurt ito…kung natapakan mo lang paa ko…chika na ‘yon!)
Overly concerned (with what?...kelangan siyempre maging specific)
Puts in effort in work (yan…tanong natin sa sup ko)

It's 2006! tao pa rin ang mga tao. Walang mga tinubuan ng ears na malalaki, taong iisa lang ang mata sa gitna ng noo...people who are half-human half-alien. Sa mga movies before, year 2000++Who would have ever thought na aabot tayo sa year na ito at gano'n pa rin ang mundo! Mukhang + was pictured as a year where people would wear the same clothes (parang any moment ay magsasky-dive...pero...kelangan silver ang color ng mga jumpsuits), ang tirahan ay puro spaceships na lang or if not a city na imbes cars ang makikita natin, puro siya spaceships na nagliliparan, pati ang tao may antenna sa ulo...gano'n ba. But I guess, sa movies lang talaga makikita 'yon. And besides, I really wouldn't want that happening.

I must say though that the good outweighed the bad the last year...a lot of new starts, I must say. At the start of the year I was in-between jobs but then that was also the time that dong got his commission so ok na rin. But then the commission didn't get very far specially when I was also looking for a job at that time. I was able to go back to a previous company which was for another account but I didn't really have my sights set for that company anymore. So, when I was called for an interview with the company i'm with now, I dropped everything and just concentrated on that. Luckily, I got in. And the rest, as they say, is history. Before my first day on the job though, Paul and Marie went home from the UK so happy na naman lahat. There were plans about fixing some things but it never really materialized. But that's ok, I'm sure these plans will happen if not today, in the near future maybe. Another good thing about last year is that Tita Rose came home from the US for a surprise visit. Muli na namang nagkita-kita ang mga Tan. Sa sobrang biglaan ng lahat, we weren't able to take pictures of the said occassion. And to think, birthday pa naman ni mommy when all that happened. As for Angela, she started Grade 1 in a new school and kahit na nag-senti siya noon about missing her friends from Kinder, mukhang happy naman siya in the new school that she's in. Dong on the other hand, started with a new company. Hopefully, everything goes well for him sa bagong company na yon. We're still waiting for that push though that he needs badly. Looks like everyone started with something new last year.

With mommy naman, there are things that changed but there are certain things na gano'n na talaga and we can't do anything about it. Gano'n pa rin yung dinadaing niyang sakit although she says that it's getting worse now. At the same time, senti pa rin siya about certain things. Just last new year's eve, we decided to sleep over na lang and just go home the following morning kasi nga medyo delikado kung uuwi kami ng alanganin. Mom and I were talking while Dong and Angela were preparing the "banig"  and the pillows so we could sleep doon sa living room. Si mommy, all of a sudden told me na bakit di na lang daw ako matulog sa tabi niya. Minsan na nga lang daw ako nakakapag-sleep sa kanila hindi pa ako tumabi sa kanya. Kahit mayakap ko daw siya kahit minsan lang. I was sitting on the rocking chair at ang tagal ko talagang nag-isip no'n...not because ayokong tumabi sa kanya but I was thinking, parang hindi si mommy yon. I know my mom to be very strong at hindi siya nagpapakita masyado ng kanyang emotions...not very vocal about it either. But this time, iba talaga. When I was growing up, sad as it may seem, I don't remember my mom giving me hugs or telling me I love you. But I know that she does love me and my brother in her own way. There was a time years ago na nag-away kami...and when i'm mad, I write a lot...hindi ko kayang sabihin in front of the person kasi iiyak lang ako. Sinabihan ako ng mom ko na i don't return the love na binibigay niya sa akin kasi I don't hug her and tell her i love her before...ito yung isa sa mga linya niya nung nag-away kami. That night noon, I wrote her a letter and I remember writing na, "i can't return something that you never gave me in the first place"...something to that effect. Bad ko 'no...pero that was what I felt. I guess that's one of the reasons now kung bakit napag-iisip ako ngayon ni mommy. And that is also one of the reasons kung bakit sangkatutak na hugs and kisses at i love you's ang binibigay ko kay angela para hindi niya sabihin sa akin in the future na hindi ko binigay sa kanya 'yon. Medyo personal ang mga naisulat but hopefully, whoever reads this, can pick up a thing or two sa mga nasabi ko. Hay, kainis...madrama masyado.

But let's end this ng isang nakakatuwang kwento. The whole day yesterday, Dong, Angela and I started our day with attending mass at Don Bosco, Makati then went to Glorietta para mamasyal siyempre. At the end of the day, we decided to watch a movie pero sabi ko sa Bicutan na lang kasi maraming tao sa Glorietta and besides, kahit na gabi pa kami umuwi ok na rin since malapit na ito sa amin. So go ang mga bakla sa Bicutan to watch Exodus. At guess what...I finished the movie pero wala akong naintindihan. Not because the movie was not good...but...ayun...umiral na naman ang sakit ko. Yes people, hindi ko naintindihan yung movie kasi....nakatulog na naman ako...kainis. Pero ang pinakagusto ko na nakuha ko sa movie na ito...3 free tickets to Enchanted Kingdom. Yeheey!!! madadala ko na rin si Angela sa Enchanted Kingdom!!!! Yun lang. HAPPY NEW YEAR TO ALL!!!!

Like they always say, "lilipas din yan". And true enough, lumipas na nga siya. Christmas 2005 already ended and I didn't quite feel it. Probably because on Dec. 24, Christmas Eve, I was in the office working...receiving calls from strangers who at the sign of the slightest inconvenience would use swear words like there's no tomorrow (it's a slight exaggeration...just to get the message across). It was only Dong and Angela who went to mommy's for the Noche Buena. At a little before 2am, I called them up to greet them Merry Christmas...and siyempre, while speaking to Angela, my voice was cracking again and the tears about to fall. I really didn't like not being with her on special occassions. Parang may nami-miss ako na isang milestone sa buhay niya. Pero siyempre, wala na rin namang magagawa. Di pa rin ako pwedeng mag-leave...so tiis muna. In a way, kung tutuusin, okay na rin yung nasa office ako kasi ang feeling ko no'n parang nagsasawa na rin ako na pumunta sa bahay ng tita ko na every year na lang ganon at ganon ang nangyayari. It's not fun anymore. The only fun thing about it is yung kainan (siyempre) at yung opening ng gifts at siyempre yung thought na buo yung family on Christmas Eve. Pero other than that, wala na. You can't even be yourself in that house kasi parang binabantayan lahat ng kilos mo. Parati kong sinasabi, kung meron lang talaga akong money, I would celebrate Christmas with my family in a different place. Biro mo, for ilang years already, we've been celebrating Christmas in this house. Nakakaloka kasi pati yung kung saan kami nagpapa-group pic, doon at doon na lang rin sa spot na yon...sa may dining table na pagkukumpulan namin si mommy tapos yun na. Ang sabi ko nga, ang naiiba lang sa picture na yun every year ay yung suot namin atsaka yung calendar na nakasabit sa pinto. Aside from pagpapapicture sa may dining table...meron din doon sa may Christmas tree na dekorasyon lang talaga ang nag-babago pero yung mga pics na kinuha, ganon at ganon pa rin. So ang nangyari, hindi talaga nakapag-kodakan whether on Christmas Eve or Christmas day. But then siyempre, come Christmas Day, pumunta na rin kami ulit doon after hearing mass para ma-greet ko rin si mommy. At siyempre, pg-ness na naman ang dating...in fairness, naman kasi, masarap talaga ang mga luto doon. Ma-drama ang gift ko kay mommy kasi the day before, wala pa akong gift sa kanya kasi wala talaga akong maisip na ibigay. When I asked her what she wanted, ang sabi lang niya..."pagmamahal from me"...mega-mushy ang nanay ko!!! So fine...pero siyempre hindi rin naman pwedeng walang gift kasi i'm sure, kahit yung ang sinabi niya, sooner or later, magsisintemyento rin yan na wala siyang natanggap from me. Sakto naman na tumitingin ako ng ibibigay kong gift kay papa Dong when I chanced upon a book entitled "A Mother's Love"...so yun ang binili ko for my mom, with matching dedication sa loob. And buti na lang, nagustuhan niya. Sa totooo lang, ako yung walang natanggap na gift from any of my family members. May natanggap ako from our maid. Pero keri na...sanay na ako...and as they always say, it's not the receiving of the gift that counts but the giving of it. And doon ako mas masaya.

Pag dumadating talaga ang December sobra talagang nagiging senti ang mga tao...particularly ako. What is it with December anyway? Kahit nung younger pa ako, basta pag dumadating ang Pasko, may times na magmumukmok ako sa isang tabi at magpapatugtog ng Christmas songs na slow at ayun, todo-emote ang chika...pero hindi hagulgol, ha...yung mangilid-ngilid na luha tapos timing na babagsak siya pag dating dun sa chorus na kung saan sobrang lungkot ng message. Kaloka di po ba?

That was then...pero ngayon, parang ganon pa rin. Like nung first Sunday of December, nag-simba kami nina Dong at Angela sa SM Bicutan (yes po...may misa sa SM Bicutan before mag-open ang dept store). Nung nag-communion, kinanta yung Lead Me Lord. Eh itong song na ito, ito yung kinakanta namin sa choir noon nung sa Makati pa kami. Nasa unang line pa lang, nangilid na ang mga tears...pagdating dun sa pinaka-refrain...ayan na sobrang naiyak na talaga ako, nagtago na lang ako dun sa likod ni Dong. Tumungo na lang ako para yung mga luha ko ay nasasalo ng polo ni Dong...hitsura ng panyo. Tapos after nung kantang yon, ang kinanta naman yung parating kinakanta ng choir kung saan kasali yung brother ko...it goes something like this..."Hear me Jesus, hide me in thy wounds that I may never leave thy side" (i'm sorry di ko alam ang title). At dahil diyan naalala ko naman ang kapatid ko...ayun...mas lalo lang akong umiyak. Pagkatapos ng misa...talo ko pa ang nanood ng sine na drama. Tama ba ito?

Tapos nung Saturday after work, nagkita kami ni Dong, as usual, sa Sm Bicutan ulit. Si Angela, natulog kina mommy kasi si Dong sobrang late na umuwi. Anyway, tinawagan namin si Angela to say na susunduin na siya. Ang kuwento, ayaw pang umuwi ng bakla kasi magisisimbang-gabi daw sila ulit nung maid ng mommy ko. Nung nalaman ko yon, sobrang sumama ang loob ko. As in 'eto na naman ang tears...pero sabi ko siyempre...STOP...NO TO!!! So umuwi na kami, nauna lang ako sa bahay kasi sinundo pa ni Dong si Angela. Ayun, pag-dating ko sa bahay, nagbihis lang ako...binuksan ang TV...nahiga sa kama at...guess nyo lang...yep, crayola ang drama. Kasi nga naman, gusto ko kasi yung first experience ni Angela na mag-simbang gabi gusto ko ako at si Dong yung kasama. 'Di ba naman...may rason akong sumama ang loob? Biro mo 'yon, pag nagkuwento si Angela pag laki niya about attending yung simbang gabi siyempre, ang kimberly ang maaalala. Nakakainis...it hurts   As Sam puts it...ayoku...ayoku.

I think sakit na talaga ng mga babae ito...na minsan masaya...maya-maya mag-eemote...maya-maya galit naman...loka-loka!!!